December 8, 2011

I’m Still Pregnant

My ass is anyway.  Yes, I am one of the lucky broads who carries her baby weight in her backside.  Four months out and my boo-tay still looks like I’ve been eating fried chicken with every meal:

If I could get my old pants over my rear, I could button ‘em.  Pretty sure anyway.  Hard to tell though when they only make it half way up my thigh.  Awesome.

I had this friend in high school who always used to bitch about how she would only gain weight in her boobs.  And as you could imagine, we felt SO sorry for her.  Ah well, a thick ass never hurt anyone.  Maybe I should bring my healthy rear outside of Boulder where it might be better appreciated.  Where can a girl with a boo-tay can get some respect around here?  (‘Round Midnight is not a legitimate suggestion, Boulderites)…

 

Posted by |Filed Under: at my finest | baby | Cussing | healthy thighs | motherhood | 9 Comments
  • Sarah

    your gang banger husband best be appreciating your nice ass:)

    • Brie

      For shheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezy.

  • Kelly

    Agreed – sure Luke loves it. And these people who gain it all up top…I’m a little bigger but honestly disappointed.

  • http://colefaber.blogspot.com Alana

    So…not to get all serious, but well, I guess I’m going to get all serious. Genuinely curious what you all think. Do you think being open about physical insecurities helps our self-image? Or do you think it hurts? On one hand, I think maybe it makes other women feel better to hear that they aren’t the only ones who have insecurities. But then I wonder if hearing other women worry prompts further scrutinizing of ourselves and others? I remember my mother used to talk very openly about how she felt old or had wrinkles or had gained weight in her thighs, and I remember being insanely obsessed about these things while I lived at home. I’m not now, but I wonder if I would have been more confident if she had displayed more confidence? (Just to be clear, this is not a comparison to Brie, who is awesome and a fantastic mom.) I’m also thinking of a work party I went to where a woman walked into the bathroom and said to me, “Don’ you just feel like a fat pig sometimes?” And the truth was no, I didn’t. But I felt very aware of the fact that female culture dictated that I was then supposed to say something like, “Yeah, my ass is huge!” Do you think this is a culture we create? Or do you think it just IS no matter what we say and do?

    • http://colefaber.blogspot.com Alana

      Okay, I am clearly the buzz-killing loser who thinks too hard about this stuff. Back to my hermit hole…

      • Brie

        My Love. I have been meaning to respond to this but you know how holidays get. I seem to be o-so forgetful. You know, I think you bring up an interesting point. I hear what you say about how being overly obsessed about it may actually be tough for the little girls of the world…the last thing they need is this kind of modeling from us grown ups. But on a human level, it’s definitely one way I feel I relate to other women: being vulnerable and open about flaws and other bits about myself as opposed to shitty and competitive. Clearly, from my blog, you know I am a lover of self-deprecating humor. I think it’s healthy to not take ourselves too seriously and poke fun now and again. But now I am back to how it comes off for my daughter, as you mention memories of your mother just “being human”. You know, I don’t want Cora to feel insecure because I banter about those sorts of things. But on the other hand, I do want her, at least at some point, to see me as a human. I don’t think I saw my Mom as human until I had kids in many ways. Never have I ever understood her more. And I guess I can only be who I am and change when it’s self-inspired. But man, it’s definitely something to keep thinking about and not settle on. That’s for sure. So get back out of your hermit hole and thanks for provoking thought!

        • http://colefaber.blogspot.com Alana

          I’m really undecided on all of this, honestly. I’m not sure if it helps or hurts, and I’m starting to think it depend on the person. I think the part that makes me uncomfortable is feeling like I’m supposed to join in. Not here, of course, because I know you and know you’re being funny. But situations like when I’m listening to women I don’t know gripe in person about physical traits. It gets me down, honestly. Another example is when I once made a comment about how I forgot to shave and felt all hairy and gross in my bathing suit, but on the bright side at least I felt comfortable wearing one (a bathing suit). And I got some grumpy comments from women who didn’t feel like they could wear bathing suits. So then it was like, damn, I’m not being self-conscious about the right things? Or by not being self-conscious I’m somehow betraying my women friends? And to some degree that’s all me–I don’t have to take responsibility for other people’s shit–but I worried that not being self-conscious meant that I was being arrogant. But the truth is that I see the flaws in my body, sometimes, but the ones I can’t do anything about just don’t bother me. And I’m not sure if that’s because that’s just the way I am or if it’s because I just refuse to acknowledge the flaws. For what it’s worth, I refuse to acknowledge your physical flaws, either. I don’t see them. You look lovely to me!

  • Jenna

    Don’t pretend you don’t LOVE Round Midnight! But if you insist, we can avoid it when you come out for some bar-fun.

    • Brie

      Um, nice try Jenna. We’re going.