January 13, 2012

Shit People Say

 

 

 

 

 

 

People say a lot of stupid shit at pivotal points in life.  (Mental responses in blue)

About marriage or commitment:

  • “Good luck with the ball and chain..”  (Good luck at the bars with all the college kids.)
  • “Is it weird that you’ll never sleep with anyone else again your entire life?” (Is it weird that you’ll likely have those STDs for the rest of your life?)

About having your first kid:

  • “Sleep while you can..” (Go fuck yourself)
  • “Hope you enjoyed your freedom..” (Sure have.  And while you’re 50 with kindergartners, I hope you enjoy yours.  I’ll email you from Tahiti and tell you all about it.)

And then about having another:

  • “Having two kids is not double the work, it’s quadruple.”  (Wow.  Did you take basic math?)

I mean really, people.

I bet if you asked a mother of four she’d say it feels a little different than the days of when she had two.  Just a guess.   For sure, having two is no joke.  It’s a juggling act I’m managing as skillfully as I can right now.  And some days I definitely get it handed to me.

But at this point, I’m not buying the: “What’s one more?” So don’t try me.

Posted by |Filed Under: Cussing | Deep Thoughts | stuff that's dumb | that's what he said | that's what she said | 3 Comments
  • Stephanie Krautz

    Hater! U no im 51 with a kinnergardner and i din even have it. Just throw the salt won’t you? I can tell you why menopause was invented , because you are too dang tired in your 50′s to be dealing with little kids. And by kids I mean, hairless chimpanzees that fortunately don’t have the upper body strength to rip your limbs out at the joint or climb up to the ceiling to throw china at you (usually). But you know the quadruple thing is true. Ask a mother of four and she’ll say “bebleh,bl,bl, bl, aaagrh” or something close.

    • Brie

      Dude. I’m totally sorry. Don’t mean to be a hater. I’ll probably get knocked up when I’m 46 and then you can laugh your ass off at me. I eat my words.

      • Stephanie Krautz

        Don’t say that! I was jus fonning. I want you to be drinking your special juice on a Tahitian beach laughing at those haggard heifers who dropped their babies after they realized in their 40′s and end up with a life of enfamil and retinol.