March 6, 2011

A Darker Shade of Pale

Perhaps the hardest part about coming home from an amazing tropical vacation is bumping into someone around town after having been gone..

Random person: “Hey, how’s it going, Friend?”

Me: “Great.”

Random Person: “So when is your trip to Mexico?”

Me: “We just got back, actually.”  Random person then looks at you a bit perplexed as to why he/she can’t tell based on your lack-o-tan.

Random Person: “Cool.”  Then walks away with nothing more to add.

Yes, it was amazing:  beach, sun, ocean, pools, sandcastles, virgin drinks with umbrellas, fellow gringos, too pregnant in a bikini, local bus to Puerto Vallarta, hours spent reading and napping, cervesas, chips and guac, cheese, practicing Spanish and more.

But I didn’t walk away with quite the tan I was hoping for.  I suppose that’s always the case in my world.  I am Irish for god sakes.  And poor Luker, he just hopes that one day his freckles will all connect and make him look a shade darker.  We tried, people.  We tried.

And as educated as we both are about the risks of sun damage, I can’t pass up an opportunity to burn the shit out of myself in the name of a tan.  Even for the dream of one.  I am a product of the 80s after all.

Here are a few pics from our vay-cay:

pina colada at Fajita Republic

Um, I might eat you you're so cute.

The key to a successful vacation with a toddler=toys and sand(they seriously can't go anywhere)

Our amazing deck where we hung out while Baby napped

Feel free to serenade us again

One hell of a Babymoon, that’s for sure.

August 31, 2010

A Fashion Death

I am dying a slow and painful fashion death.  It’s just terrible.  I am clinging on to my wide-leg trouser pants with the tips of my teeth, praying that things will change soon.  But I seriously don’t see the end in sight.

Misery.

I think after all this time skinny jeans have been misinterpreted.  They are NOT for the general public.  They are for the SKINNY public (those with long, skinny legs).

Those of us endowed with hearty thighs and butts are made to look even healthier when wearing a pair:

The absolute worst is when men wear them.  My God.

I donno about you, but my first thought is: tiny pecker.

But it’s not just the skinny jeans.  Even the shoes throw me:

They’re like glorified witch shoes.  My favorite is when girls wear shoes like this with capris.  Shit man.  Give those chics a broom and send them on their way.

It’s fine, I need to learn to deal with it all.  Fashion changes.  And I need to update I guess.  I am definitely starting to feel like one of those moms who came into our high school rocking feathered hair and tight jean shorts because she really liked the 80s.

I know this is a man, it's just the feathered hair was spot on.

I’ll be cool again.  Give it another five years and you’ll all be begging to borrow my clothes.