I did yoga today and it reminded me of this sucker. A little ditty I did for RECOVERING YOGI a while back….Happy Friday ya’ll.
Good morning, Dear Friend,
Have you heard what I did?
I woke up at four, jumped right out of bed!
What’s that you say; you couldn’t get up?
Lord Shiva and Shakti, you must feel like a schmuck!
You see, I do more yoga than you.
Today I feel great,
Three classes before eight!
What about you? This past month just a few?
How sorry, how sad. Bet you wish what I had.
It’s just, I do more yoga than you.
Lululemon and Prana,
I’m the fucking Pre-Madonna.
My abs sure do look great,
I can’t choose who to date.
It’s so tough being me…
And I do more yoga than you.
Paxil, Prozac and Zoloft,
I accidentally took four days off.
My shrink says distance from yoga, for me, may be healthy,
But how else will I learn to be spiritually wealthy?
See, I do more yoga than you (and him, combined).
I’m off centered, out of balance, and all out of whack,
For the past twenty years I’ve used yoga as crack.
In missing a class, I’ve fallen behind,
To my inner-most goddess, I’m becoming so blind.
At least I still do more yoga than you.
What’s that you say? You made it to a class?
Excuse me for sounding incredibly crass:
You phony, you fake, you raving-terrible bitch!
The only reason you went was to be like me just a titch.
I do more yoga than you.
Oops, forgive me, my gosh! What’s gotten into me?
What I meant was I’m so happy! I hope it sets you free!
But please let me make myself incredibly clear:
I do more yoga than you do, My Dear.