Stop dicking with me, Colorado weather. You are such a freaking tease. Each time the sun comes out, I get all geared up to bust out some capris, expose my upper arm, and maybe hit the playground with the kids, but no. You continue to fuck everything up.
Yes, yes, we knew you were coming. Yes, yes, we hope you help prevent forest fires this summer. Blah blah blah. Honestly, though, I’m so done with you that I’d take burnt grass in June. For realz. Fucking bring it.
I have run out of all my teacher tricks of making up games and art projects and dressing up and painting and charades and I have baked my ass off and I seriously can’t go to the fucking mall one more time or I might take someone out because the kids who go there as regularly as we do these days are kinda whack. How the fuck am I supposed to avoid endless hours of Disney tunes on Pandora when I am trapped inside like this? Sometimes I just lie on the floor and let the kids crawl all over me. Because I am that good and I can’t think of anything else…
I heard this weekend we might reach the 70′s, though. Suddenly I feel a bit better.