After I had my second kid, I was like “yeah friggin’ right, I’ll have another.”  Disgusting.  With my stomach hanging down to my knees and my hands full of kids I couldn’t imagine it.  The thought made me nauseous.  When I went in for my post-baby appointment and the nurse asked what our plan was for future birth control, I told her we were thinking of doing that thing where they just cut the guy’s balls off.  She laughed a great deal.  And come to find out they don’t actually take those man parts off.

Fast forward one and a half years and now the thought of a third is not so disgusting.  Well,sometimes.  I will say that I think less and less of this:

And more and more of this:

I mean we could totally handle three, right?  Right?  We both come from families of three.  But it’s damn hard to figure out whether we’re really gonna go for it or not.

I tend to ask everyone their opinion about this, parents both old and young.  People have strong convictions and reasons for whatever it is they think.  But that doesn’t get us any closer to figuring it out for ourselves.  At the end of the day the only right answer here is the one that we both come to.  But why is it so damn hard to figure out?  Perhaps this goes along the paradox of choice.  Two, for us, was an obvious call.  But three?  A complete choice based on our preference.  Yikers.  How the hell does one determine preference here?  What variables are the most important?

Logically, the answer for us is two.  We have everything we need.  A girl, a boy, a nice living condition, a tight little group.  We can give them both more attention, more resources financially and otherwise.  We could start traveling again, camping, skiing more, save money and on and on and on.

But then there is three.  What about when we’re older?  Won’t it be great to have more kids then?  Having kids is perhaps my favorite thing I’ve done with my adult life.   And large families have their own special appeal.  Personally, I love having two brothers and different relationships with both of them.  Short term pain for long term gain.  I don’t want to regret later when it’s too late that we could have had more.  And as the WSJ article: The Case for Having More Kids discusses, it’s super tough to make life decisions like this when you’re in the midst of some tough years at home with wee ones.

Blarg.  Decision paralysis.

So, we will continue to make our tally of yes’s and no’s and count up and average the days at some point.  I have a few more years until having another is off the docket by force.

How lucky we are to get to make these kinds of choices.  What a bitch it is to make these kinds of choices.

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