May 8, 2013

Rookie Move

Here’s another memory circa 2009.  Our first Halloween….

 

Halloween is quickly approaching.  Though Cora doesn’t do candy yet, a girl’s gotta have a costume.  At least to take a few pics.  So, my good friend Leslie and I decided to set out to make this happen.

Originally, I was thinking she could be the Dalai Lama.  But once Leslie and I arrived at the costume store, we realized that there were o-so-many adorable options.  I needed to be open-minded.

Leslie found this cute lil lion costume that was small enough to fit her.  I was sold.  We drove home talking about how cute it was, and how I would put little barrettes in the mane to make it look more little girl-ish.  (I can’t quite bring myself to do the whole princess thing yet, though there were millions of those costumes in her size).

I threw it in the laundry to make sure it was clean and ready.  My plan was to have her in it when Daddy got home so he could get a sneak peek at what Halloween would bring this year.

Like an idiot, I didn’t read the instructions.  And like and idiot, I threw it in the dryer.  As it was drying, I wondered for a brief second if maybe it wasn’t supposed to be dried.  Naw, I thought.  It’ll be fine.

When I pulled it out of the dryer, it was totally ruined.  But not like you’d think.  There weren’t chunks missing and the mane hadn’t frizzed.  The adorable little lion costume came out with a perfect Jerry Curl.  I kid you not.  A freaking Jerry Curl:

007 008

Luke came home that night and took one look at the costume and said: “What is she supposed to be, The Reverend Al Sharpton?”

alsharpton

I really nailed that one.

April 5, 2013

BIG news!

Nope.  I am totally not pregnant.  Thank goodness.

But I do have some exciting news that I’ve been sitting on for a week.  I SIGNED WITH AN AGENT!  The amazing Emily Keyes from L. Perkins Agency offered representation and I signed with her today! I am totally over the moon.  For realzies, guys.

Many of you know I’ve written a few books, and she’ll be representing my book WONDER BREAD.  She will now go out to publishers and pitch them my book to see if we can get this sucker published.  It’s a HUGE deal because without an agent, my dream of getting published with most any publishing house is only that: a dream.

And Emily couldn’t be more supportive and amazing.  I’ve now had the chance to have a couple of phone conversations with her and man, do I feel lucky.  She’s incredibly knowledgeable about the industry, trends, and what editors are looking for.  She has already told me who she hopes to pitch for WONDER BREAD.  And she talked me through where some of her other clients are in regards to getting published, and hearing her speak of them with such faith in their work makes me know I’m lucky to have her behind me.  She’ll be a hell of a champion for WONDER BREAD.  I can already tell.

So, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that once I get this bad boy all polished up, a publishing house out there will take me on.  Thanks for your support during this process and I will keep you posted!!

And now, the song to which I used to dance in the mirror when I was ten.  Only for moments like this:

Check out those freaking nightgowns.

February 6, 2013

Naive Little Butterflies

While in Disney, Luker and I had the opportunity to go on a few date nights.  They were fantastic.  We went to the Magic Kingdom and to Epcot.  We acted like teenagers and honestly they were some of the best dates we’ve had in a while.  So fun to go on rides, squeeze the one you’re crushing on, and feel like a youngan again.

As you know, our kids were wicked sick for a bit before our trip and this created lots of stress for Luke and me.  We were short on sleep and on and on.  Bottom line, we felt tense.  One night after eating dinner in France (Epcot) we decided it might be nice to get a massage.  But where, pray-tell, can people get massages at night?  There had to be some place.  If this place is in fact Disney, shouldn’t they have these kinds of things around every corner?  One would think.

We pondered for only a brief moment and then remembered that right near our hotel, there was a little strip mall with a massage place.  Bingo.  Maybe there was a shot in hell that it would be open apres dinner.  So, we sped out of the park around 10 pm, giddy as hell.

What we were picturing

We pulled up and I couldn’t have been more excited.  ASIAN MASSAGE the sign read in blinking red lights.  I clapped my hands and squealed with glee.  “And I love Asian massage!” I said to Luker picturing my last massage in the Thailand airport.  We bolted out of the car to the door.

Never once did it occur to us that random massage places located in dodgy strip malls off highways are a little, I donno, off.  And never once did we think to ourselves, hmmm, is it strange that this place is open at 10:30pm on a Tuesday night?  Naw.  Never once.  We walked forward more slowly now and attempted to peer into the opaque windows.  Foreign men ran in and out of this massage place like flies on shit.  Funny, I thought, a naive fucking butterfly, I don’t see any women going in?

We went inside and only then did we realize what kind of massage joint we’d stepped into.  We were looking more for actual massages.  Not the kind with blowjobs on the side.

What we walked into

Thanks, but not this time.  We flapped our tiny ass wings back to the hotel and tried to scoop our chins off the floor.  Orlando has a little more flavor than Boulder it seems.  And I am a little greener than the average broad.

February 5, 2013

A Little Kid’s Dream

Well, we made it to Disney World.  As to be expected, it was totally amazing.  It was a close call because Kierian was so sick for so many days prior, we weren’t sure we’d swing it.  The kids and I had to cancel our trip once, but we braved the flight and he did just fine after re-booking.  Phew.

It’s funny to go to Disney and be the parent this time.  Crazy to walk in my parents’ shoes.  It doesn’t feel like that long ago that my family ventured there for me (and my brothers’ benefit).  I am just beginning to discover the joy that comes from seeing your children over-the-moon happy.

Being that our kids are so little, we weren’t sure how much of Disney they would take in.  Surprisingly, they were up for almost all of it (with the exception of a few rides).  Daddy worked hard during the days and thankfully, my parents came down for a few of those days to help me out while he was tied up.  Luke and I even got in a few date nights at the Disney Parks!  (Yay for grandparents).  And my good friend Andrea, who is the ultimate Disney Diva, helped me create a kid-friendly game plan for our adventure.   Overall, we made some incredible memories last week.

Here are a few pictures from our wonderful little hiatus…

Cora's FAVORITE animal of all time! We didn't know she was a Disney one and happened to bump into her first thing upon walking into the Magic Kingdom!!

 

The much anticipated castle

 

Jasmine and Aladdin!

 

Daddy and Kierian on the jungle cruise

 

Sea World! A Grandpa Jack-Jack fav

 

Visiting some old friends in Tampa. Crazy to think we used to travel together before all this procreation.

 

Petting zoo at Animal Kingdom

 

My parents took Cora and Kierian to a Cinderella dinner while we hit the parks...Big moment for Cora

 

Cora and Prince Charming who Cora said is "a little more handsome than Daddy."

 

Not sure what to think of the Step-Sister

 

Don’t know if we would have done this trip if Luke hadn’t had a conference down there.  But I’m so glad we did.  Our kids won’t be little for long and before we know it, Disney magic won’t be quite as impactful.  Just as much of a dream come true for us as it was for them…

November 26, 2012

Gettin’ our hur did for the holidayz

Well, this is the second Thanksgiving out of the past 10 where we’ve actually been home.  And it was a great one.  We went to my parents’ house and my brothers and their girlfriends came too.  It was quite a party.  My Mom is seriously off the hook when it comes to cooking, so everything was ridiculous and I find myself feeling a bit thicker today than a few ago.  Well worth it.

At any rate, we had to get our hair did for the big festivities.  That’s right people, it was Kierian’s first haircut.  I’d been hanging onto the rat-tail for far too long.  Being that I am from this wonderful town, I am in full support of the shaggy hair look on little boys.  But the rat-tail wasn’t getting us there.  We had to get him all shaped up.  Here are a few pics…

Pre cut shot. Feeling good about his sideburns that come out in sharp peaks.

 

Not sure about this whole thing

 

Fly Guy

 

October 24, 2012

The Queen

Last week I saw THE QUEEN in concert.  That’s right, Madonna.

It was a bit ridiculous being that I’d just returned in-country three days before, but it was definitely worth the rally…we bought the tickets months before for this night.  A whole slew of girlies headed down to Denver to witness her show.

The reviews were mixed.  She came on three hours late, which for a bunch of cougars and 40-yr-old gay men was a bit rough.  But I still attest it was worth it.  The opening was off the hook:

And while some were furious with her overt political statements, she is a freaking icon and seeing her was nothing short of legendary.

Many were angered by the use of guns in her show.  Apparently her fans in Denver asked for her to tone down the gun violence due to the recent attack in Aurora.  Her simple answer was no.

And you know what?  I thought it was great.  I wanted to see Madonna because she’s always pushed the envelope.  As a Catholic and a rebel myself growing up, she represents all that is bad-ass.  Sexuality, confidence, power, crisis of faith, independence, creativity and all things little girls think about at different points in life.   The gun thing was just her latest version of “scary” thinking.  I somehow doubt she’s into guns in real life.  And besides that, the woman is 54 and doing yoga, kung-fu and shows her bare ass on the stage…she’s pretty damn hardcore in my book.

It was a hell of a show.  If you grew up loving Madonna and she comes to your town, don’t even hesitate.

September 17, 2012

First Love

Nip slip made an excellent first impression

 

Two years later and just as cute

August 28, 2012

Auntie Sarah’s Wedding

The kids were in their first wedding this weekend.  Holy Buddha was it amazing.  Up in Breckenridge, outside on a lake looking at the mountains in the late afternoon, Auntie Sarah and Uncle Luke got married.  We were so happy to be a part of it all…

Feel free to admire my shoes -Kierian

 

I could die.

 

taking her job very seriously

 

The lovely couple--wishing them years of happiness together

August 23, 2012

Walk it out

Well, Kierian is walking.  It’s good timing too because Luke’s sister’s wedding is this weekend and both our kids are in it.  He’s gotta make it down the aisle in that tux we spent too much money on.

We’ve been putting him through frequent, rigorous drills to get his ass walking, and we’ve been worried.  We would have put him in boot camp if they would have taken one year olds.  So stupid that they don’t.  I mean, how do we expect kids to excel in the American dream (sports) if they can’t be put in training camps until they’re five?  What a gross disservice.

 

Yes, please.

July 30, 2012

A Couple of Firsts

Kierian’s birthday was wonderful.  Mellow and wonderful…just how we like it.  A few friends and family members stopped by to say hello and he had his first cupcake.  A big, big day in the life of a little man.

The poor Dear, I'm pretty sure this is his first ever toy that hasn't been previously used.

Pumped.

A pyro in our future?

"Cupcakes are for pussies, Ma. Next year I want CAKE."

DELISH

I am the cutest thing on the planet thanks to my uncle.