Well, I’m home and so happy to be here. It was a wonderful trip. I had a lot of thinking time, moments alone, and time for reading and reflection that I don’t usually get here on a regular basis. Perhaps my most profound take away from spending time in Asia is that I really like the Kardashians. Like a lot.
I mean what a quality TV show. Every single episode ends with some kind of moral lesson. It’s really deep. And Kourtney’s boyfriend Scott is just hilarious. Also, I can’t believe Kim’s husband (I think ex now???) tried to have a party at her place in NYC without telling her. I mean seriously. Who does he think he is?
Here’s what led to my diamond piece of insight…
I was in Bali, staying in a small beach town called Sanur, a little place right on the ocean, which was what I wanted. I woke up one morning swimming in a pool of my own sweat and turned my head to the left where a cockroach sat happily on the pillow next to me. Did I mention there were no lights in the room? Not important I guess. Anyway, I turned to Cockroach that morning and said Cockroach? And he said: “Yes, Brie?”as he wiggled his antenna listening intently. And I said: “I’m gettin’ too old for this shit.”
I jumped out of bed and furiously packed my belongings while there was still sunlight in my room so I could see, and Cockroach explained to his friends in our room my sentiments. They understood completely. I did what any American would do: I hightailed my ass over to the place on Bali where white tourists flock like boys on porn, and checked into a room for my last night there. One with AC, room service, hot water and a television. It was fantastic.
So, on my final night in Bali while many were out watching Kecack (traditional Balinese dance) and others were attending wedding processions, ceremonial cremations and eating exotic fish dishes, I sat in my room, blasted the AC, ordered nachos for dinner, took a hot shower and watched marathon episodes of the Kardashians. I am one cultured mother fucker.
I guess you can take the girl out of America, but you can’t take America out of the girl.