Okay. Okay. I know. This blog has become more of me writing about boobs than anything else. But I can’t stop. And this might be one of the last. Maybe.
So, last Friday my dear friend Kendra and her sweet baby Ada May, Cora and I decided we would venture out to the local Boulder “Breastfeeding Club.” Apparently, it is where new moms go to get advice on breastfeeding, any infant related issues, and to meet other new moms.
I have the most amazing girlfriends in the world. I don’t necessarily see the need to make tons more. But it’s nice to meet other moms who are going through some of the same craziness as I am. So, in that regard, I am on the market. I haven’t had to ‘make new friends’ since college. I kind of feel like Peter Klaven from I Love You Man when he goes on all his man-dates looking for bromance. (PS-See this movie). But, I am trying to be open to it.
At any rate, we walk down the hall towards the room where Boob Club is hosted and before we even enter, we see a line of like 40 strollers outside the door. I kid you not. We walk in. Picture this: 40 new moms and their lil prized possessions smashed into a stuffy hospital conference room. Babies crying, some moms gossiping with one another, some moms sitting alone in the corner gushing over their babies, and ALL moms with at least one boob hangin’ out in plain view, most of them without baby attached. Hell, some moms had their entire tops off.
Ah Boulder. Where the liberal, boob-bearing yuppies romp. While I would not consider myself a modest chick, I have to admit, this made me blush. Boobs, boobs, everywhere. Kendra so perfectly pointed out upon entering that she: “could think of at least a dozen guys who would LOVE to be a part of this club.” But I still wasn’t sure if I was hip enough.
Nevertheless, we tried to sit down and mingle, open to a new ‘mommy-mance’.
I donno about you, but it is hard for me to look someone in the eye when their, you know, is staring right back at me. And it is next to impossible to ignore the lady with the double E’s whose baby is choking and sputtering while she tries to have an intellectual conversation about infant development with her neighbor. My baby doesn’t quite have that problem.
I left Boob Club that day feeling a couple of things. One: WTF? Two: my D’s now C’s aren’t half what I thought they were. And three: I think I need to find another club to join.